Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
