Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
