Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
