hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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