dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
