grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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