i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
