he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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