Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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