After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We don't watch enough power rangers
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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