Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
