I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
