WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Randomize
