i may or may not be watching the land before time
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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