Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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