We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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