God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
