i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
