I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
