Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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