White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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