you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
