I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Less talking, more tequila
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
did i just pee glitter
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
