Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize