escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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