She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
