last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
please come you make the beer taste better
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
