i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
