i just google imaged poop.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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