So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
