guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Someone signed my nipple.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
