I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
