They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
