so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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