sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize