Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
