my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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