If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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