He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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