East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
