My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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