cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
