is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
