Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
