I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
