Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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