It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
