if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
