We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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