I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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