The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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