She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
if only i could text you this smell
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
