six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
