so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
