im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
