We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize