I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
